The narcissist in your life most likely does not have a clinical diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Why? It is a very rare occasion that a narcissist would seek help from therapy for narcissistic personality traits. What I do know is that there are several key indicators that would red flag that person as potentially having this personality disorder.

The DSM-5 created an alternative model for diagnosis for 5 of the 10 identified personality disorders. These include: antisocial, avoidant, borderline, narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive, and schizotypal. The diagnostic criteria allows the clinician to provide a diagnosis based on impairments in personality functioning and pathological personality traits. Patterns of erratic and dramatic thinking, emotions, and behaviors are one of the key indicators that someone falls into what the DSM-5 classifies as “cluster B” personality disorders (antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic).

So what is meant by “erratic” personality? The best way to describe this type of behavior is unpredictability. You may wonder how the narcissist in your life was just so loving just yesterday, but today he/she is raging and tearing you down for no apparent reason. This type of behavior can create anxiety and a feeling of having to “walk on eggshells” because you just never know what to expect. It keeps you off-balance and can never relax because who knows when the next raging event is going to occur.

Drama. Drama. Drama. Narcissists (and the 3 other cluster B personality disorders) do not live a peaceful, serene life. Maybe for a couple days. Maybe they could even make it through a month with no earthquakes. However, narcissists are known for creating drama. Life with a narcissist is an emotional rollercoaster. This drama can be obvious and overt through intense explosions of emotions. However, the narcissist (especially covert narcissist) can create drama subtly through ridiculous accusations to nonverbal communication of disapproval to days of silent treatment.

I don’t know about you, but the holy grail of living for me is… peace. You will never live a life of peace when with a narcissist.